Here are a few haiku I wrote the other night while running door security at my wife Rhumba’s Thursday evening knitting group.  I pity anyone who wanders in looking for trouble.  Those knitters are much tougher than I am.  Try something with them in a dark alley and they’d leave you with a concussion and a pair of mittens. I like them.

The haiku themselves are based on stories from newspapers near and far. As always, enjoy.

She lifted her cell,
and he abandoned all plans
to stalk her further.

“Snipers! In the trees!
“And someone owes me half a mill!
“Thank God for my drugs!”

Someone shot at him,
he thinks, and now he reports
every passing car.

You DO have a room,
neighbors yelled, while the two sexed
on their balcony.

The locals wonder
why he’s directing traffic
on an empty road.

Her deceased husband
rose from the grave to apply
for a Sears account.