When all’s said and done, a good half of all crimes stem from poor impulse control, poor judgment, or – the most popular option – both.

It seemed like a good idea at the time.  It wasn’t.

And if you don’t think so, troll America’s crime news as I do. Here’s the latest batch of haiku, taken from the police blotters of cities large and small.  But mainly small. Enjoy.

They forced the back door,
but her large pit bull advised
that they not enter.

I won’t talk to you,
he told his ex, so she had
harsh words with his car.

An exiled husband
loiters near his home until
his wife’s anger cools.

He heard girls – screaming!
But what the cops found was a
loud cub scout meeting.

They soon found out why
burglars seldom try to steal
a water heater.

They played “quick-draw” games
with an unloaded gun that
wasn’t unloaded.

A reckless driver –
a nude blonde in a red ‘Stang –
or just plain reckless?

“You know you want this!”
he told the women, pointing.
They knew no such thing.